Little Dhampir's Forever

PNR. Philippine National Railways. Madumi… Nakakatakot… Mainit… Siksikan… Ganiyan ang lumalabas sa isipan pag sinabing PNR. Ang tanong, nakasakay ka na ba ng PNR? Na-experience mo na bang makipag-sisikankasama ang mga taong hindi mo kilala? Bago muna, try niyo muna sumakay.

Para sa akin hindi madaling sumakay sa PNR dahil sa dami ng taong nag-sisiksikan at nag-uunahan makakuha ng pwesto. Bawat lalaki at babae ay sama-sama sa bawat car ng train. Lahat nagsisiksikan na parang nasa lata ng sardinas. Hindi lang yan ang mararanasan sa PNR, makikita mo ang mga personalidad ng mga tao. May mainitin ang ulo, may palenkera, may mapagmasid, at may mapagbigay. Bawat klase ng Pilipino makikita mo.

Kapag sumakay ka ng PNR wag na wag mong palalampasin ang mga makikita mo sa bintana. Marami kang makikita at matutuklasan sa pagtanaw mo palamang. Kung ikaw ay yung tipong nasa comfort zone then ma-enlighten ka lalo sa paligid mo. Kung gaano kahirap ang pinag-dadaanan ng tao lalo na ang mga nakatira sa squatters area. Hindi man sila Arkitecto ay nagagawa pa rin nilang pagtibayin ang tinitirhan nila  para sa pangangailangan nila.

Ang isa pang matatanaw mo ay ang magagandang stracktura na sadyang nakakamangha. Unang tingin mo pa lang masasabi mo na para sa business lang, hindi para sa medisina o kung ano man. Siguro nga mamamangha ako dahil sa ganda nito, ngunit alam ko na hindi pa ganoon ka lawak ang aking kaalaman sa mga arkitektura sa Pilipinas.

Pagkababa ko ng Magallanes ang mga strakturang natibag mula sa dating hintayan ang sumalubong sa akin. Kaayaayang tignan para sa akin ang mga ito dahil sadyang mahilig lang ako sa mga bagay na luma, at iyon ang pinakita sa akin ng stakturang iyon. Kung paano siya naging matatag sa pag lipas ng mga panahon.

Sa ngayon hanggang dito na muna. Nakakasiguro ako na may susunod pa.

May 22, 2012; 8:10am, before that my life was just about being in my comfort zone. No adventure, no risk, nothing at all. Typically, I’m just an ordinary teenage girl who dreams, fall in love, get hurt, get stressed, have secrets, and most of all has no idea what her role is. In short I’m just a girl trying to find my place in this world.

Throughout the course of my life, I started accepting my fate; being an average. It came to the point that I don’t know myself already, my wants, my ambition, my career. I fed my life with knowledge that was left unspoken. Until I learn to build boundaries around me, that only a few people had entered. Most would say they know me so well, but the truth is they haven’t seen what’s within me yet. They haven’t seen the deeper me.

But then little by little my shell is starting to break. As I create another blog that reveals my true self I start to realize what I have become. I’ve kept all these things to myself, carrying the burden in my back. All my uncertainties are coming to the surface starting to break free.

As time passes by I learn to dream again. I began engaging myself to be the best I could be, but it wasn’t easy at all. Foremost, architecture was not my first choice ever since. Being a doctor was all I ever wanted in my childhood days but then I started to develop my passion for beauty of clothing. It was a crazy ride for me to be, but then the ride taught me to hold on to things that really matters to me. And being a fashion designer matters to me, being an entrepreneur at an early age matters to me. But I’m pretty sure learning architecture will be more exciting and intriguing than I expect.

The funny thing about people is that we limit ourselves to the things we could attain when in fact we can all attain them at the same time. I’ve been a victim of this for so many years, but now I’ve learned my lesson. And I’m pretty sure that both the things I love, architecture and fashion, will lead me to the place I’m supposed to be.

Now, everything has changed. Day by day I began to develop things about architecture. And ever since THAT day I started looking more deeper in everything I see. It’s not easy, but it’s just the beginning of a new side of me.

raffyceneta asked: panu po b isend from tumbr to the specific email?

copy-paste yung link 

“In architecture you can design shoes, design clothes, design interiors, design furniture, design cars, but you can also design your own world.” –Professor Carlos

This was the phrase that struck me during my ADESPRN class. Technically, my perception about architecture was designing landscapes, buildings, and landmarks that are also functional. Back then I just want to create something useful, functional, and eye catching; but then I failed to realize that architecture is higher than what I know. Architecture is basically everything in art; the highest form of art. For one to understand it more, you have to look deeper into it. It’s not just about the façade, but it’s also the feelings or thoughts that the architect wants us to feel once we see his/her master piece; and that’s one of the things I learned in class.

Do I see myself as an architect a few years from now? Hmm… yes, I think I see myself as an architect, but not the usual architect that design buildings; I see myself as an architect of clothing. Making gowns, dresses, etc. Building a name in the industry and seeing my creations walk down the aisle. I vision myself in that way. I know there is still a long road to surpass through, a lot of hard work to do, and a lot of patience to make. My chosen course may be far from what I want to be in the future, but I know I can use my knowledge in architecture to fashion. Just like professor Carlos said in his quote; just like Francis Libiran’s profession.

We all expect to see ourselves to be successful in our chosen career. I myself also expects the same way. I’ve been longing that someday my creations will be worth remembering, that even if I die people will never forget my contribution to humanity. Maybe some would think that fashion isn’t worth the time and attention for those in the Third World Countries, but come to realize it that each of us has a dream and THIS IS MY DREAM. NO ONE CAN TAKE IT FROM ME EXCEPT IF I LET THEM.

History? Yeah, to most it may sound boring, nerve wracking, or pain in the butt, I also feel same way about history when we’re required to read hundreds of pages for the sake of academics than pleasure. For the past 11 years of my life I’ve been studying and studying about history and its details. It’s like I’m watching a movie and they keep on replaying and replaying it. But as my knowledge broadens to be acquainted more about our own history, as well as the world, I am mesmerized by these significant events that kept reminding us on who we are today; on how these could change our life in the future even though it’s done; and on how it could repeat itself if we don’t change our habits.  Just like the so called “end of the world,” Mayans predicted through stars, but then there are no significant evidences that this will happen on December 21^st, 2012; it’s crazy how this affects the present time. As well as the knowledge of these people. Their wide knowledge cannot be denied that they are smart and resourceful of their surroundings; Isaac Newton, Benjamin Franklin, Theodore Roosevelt, Galileo, they’re all part of history and they were able to create something useful for us with their humungous brain. You know, I’m the type of person who thirsts for knowledge, not just because I am required as a student to learn about these, but also I feel like I am suppose to do this. For me knowing history is knowing thyself; our actions, words, and our beliefs does not only tell who we are, but also our nation as a country as one human race.

I think I got a taste of “Ochoa” in my 2^nd day in college. You might probably thinking who “Ochoa” is, he’s my former English teacher in high school well known for being strict, terrifying, and giving endless literary works to be read at home. To be honest he really scares the hell out of me. For the first time I met someone who makes my heart stop beating not because he’s desirable or handsome (like what he always say who he is), but because I can’t tell what his action will be. Every day my classmates and I get to see him and experience the terror he brings to us. Each of us had been humiliated by this person. It even came to the point when we don’t want to go to school anymore. Every English time is hell, except when he’s absent or he’s in the mood to chit-chat with us. On the other hand, I met Sir Carlos. He’s my professor in ADESPRN (Architectural Design and Principles) and HSTARC1 (History in Architecture). He’s professional, benevolent, and open; the total opposite of “Ochoa.” But to be honest, he was kind of scary. In my opinion, it’s as if he expects too much from us. I don’t know him yet that’s why I can’t tell anything about him except my impressions in our first meeting; but I do love how he wants us to be open with our ideas, how he asks us about what we’re thinking even though it’s irrelevant to the lesson.

You might be wondering why I compared these two different people, it’s because they have one common ground, to bring out the best in us. Just like magnets with different poles and yet it attracts. Yes, Sir Ochoa may be narcissistic but he always tells us to be the best we could be; never let someone else step you; and most importantly is to grab every opportunity that comes in the way. Sir Carlos made me realize that my passion for fashion is also connected to architecture; that architecture is not just about designing furniture, interiors, landscape, but also designing our own world. Two different people with amazing ways of bringing the potentials in us.